Friday, June 5, 2009

Lamb chops

Dear Dan,

Almost two years have gone by and you are still a topic of conversation and a thought every single day. You're still here and that's the way I want to keep you. I dread the time I look back over the day and find that you haven't been there. I don't want that to ever happen. I carry that around in the "what if" backpack. "What if" I thought of you as often when you were alive as I do now that you're gone. Would that have made a difference? I know the answer is "no" but the question is always there.

A recent thought was of the time you made lamb chops for me. I don't remember ever having lamb chops so you decided we should have them one evening. They smelled fabulous and I could not wait to sink my teeth into them. The chops looked magnificent as you pulled them out of the oven.

You served one to me. I cut it and took a bit. I stopped. Something didn't taste quite right. There was a taste I couldn't quite ... um .... wait. I know what that is! Joy! Lemon fresh Joy dish soap.

So I have to ask the question -- "Dan, what did you cook this in?" You showed me the baking dish. "Dan, where did you get the dish?" You got it from the sink. "Did you wash it out before you put the chops in?" No. All that was in there was water.

Not exactly. I had put the dish in the sink to soak earlier in the day. There was water and Joy detergent. When you looked, all you saw was water so it was good to go.

I laid on the counter and laughed so hard at that while youo stood there eating, telling me you didn't taste anything wrong.

That never fails to make me laugh, even now.

I love you Danny.

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