Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Odd moments

Dear Dan,

I don't remember what happened and what I was thinking just before but I was turning onto Blue Course and thought, "I'll have to call Dan and tell him."

Then, of course, I remembered.

I have your phone. It was sent to me shortly after your suicide, At first I looked through your texts and your phonebook. I listened to the voicemails and dealt with the calls. Eventually your account was going to expire. I wanted to hear the only sound of your voice still available to me -- your outgoing message. Sometimes I would call your phone just to hear the message.

"Hi. This is Dan. Sorry I can't talk right now but if you leave your name,number and a brief message I will get back to you."

I bought my Zen because it has a mic that I could record the message and keep it even after the Sprint account closed. I gave a copy to Scott, Harley, Tod and a couple of your other friends. Sometimes I still listen to it but I have your voice in my head -- and your laughs. I can hear them clearly.

I just wish I could hear conversation from you. I miss the inane talks about movies, bar-b-que and wildlife. I also miss being able to call you for advice but it really is the little conversation I miss.

Love ya, bro! I miss you always.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Mom's remembrances

Dear Dan,

There are certain things I hear about from Mom every time your name is mentioned. Now remember, your name gets mentioned at least once every single day! So at least once every single day I hear this. And I must say, I love it!

When we were young and she would put us down for naps, she'd clean the bugs from your pockets, wash and dry your dungarees and have them ready when you'd wake up. However waking up implies going to sleep which is something that was very low on your list of priorities.

Before I was born there was one thing you would sleep through -- Bishop Sheen. At the time the Bishop had a 15 minute show once a week on TV. You would go to sleep as soon as his theme song would start and wake up as soon as his ending music started. That meant mom and dad would run around the apartment doing everything they had to do before you woke up.

At the time they didn't know you had a stomach ulcer and that's why you were crying all the time. You were hungry.

After I was born and you had long been on solid food you still didn't sleep. Mom said it was like you were wild. Grandmother and Granddad would come to visit. All Grandmother would do was sit on the couch and exclaim :: gasp:: "Oh dear!" ::gasp:: "Oh MY!" as you went spinning around the house like the Tasmanian Devil.

Where was Bishop Sheen when she needed him? Mom always thought about writing him to let him know about your nap time. She was sure he would get a laugh out of it.

If you think off it and if you see the good Bishop around, tell him, would you please?

Thanks.

Love ya, bro. I miss you.

Friday, April 17, 2009

John Madden

Dear Dan,

John Madden has announced his retirement. It got me thinking about the times you and I would sit with mom while she was watching the Raiders. This was back during Madden's reign, Lyle's ripping people's lips off, and the Raider's general dirty playing/intimidation tactics.

We used to get such a laugh when you would have a minor rant about John Madden's general slovenliness on the sidelines. Every other coach was calm and collected, dressed in suits; while John was raging and snorting, disheveled and hair standing on end, coat open, neck of the shirt unbuttoned. He was in a state of disarray. You hated that! You used to be fine watching the game but would cringe over the coach.

In later years you liked listening to him broadcast from the booth but his appearance never quite met you standards.

Thinking back on that give me one more reason to smile.

Love ya bro.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Throwing the stick

Dear Dan,

Mom and I were talking about something I think of a lot. Remember the time were were riding with mom over Seven Mountains? I guess we were going to Mamie's. You probably had an appointment with Dr. Rodriguez -- the one who fit you for leg braces, we were that young.

There was road construction just past Pot Likker Flats near Reedsville where the Missing Link used to be. We were waiting in a line of cars to go through. It was a hot summer day -- always! because in PA Road Construction Season falls between Summer and Fall -- so the windows were down. The flagman stopped mom, handed her a stick and asked her to give it to the guy at the other end of the construction.

Mom thought it was a joke. She tossed the stick into the field and said "Oh, you silly thing," to the flagman. He looked at her with a very mournful, yet shocked look and said "You threw away my stick!"

You and I yelled "MOM!" as she drove off and the flagman went to look for something else to give to the car behind us.

You had to explain to mom that because of explosives being used they had to turn off the 2-way radios. The stick was the way each flagman knew this was the last car.

Mom still can't figure out how we knew that and she didn't. Fur the umpteenth time I said "Who doesn't know that?" but I do wonder how we did and she didn't.

Love ya, bro!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fool's!

Dear Dan,

I don't suppose you could jump out from somewhere and yell that to me, could you?

Or call and say that?

Please?