Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Leaf throwdown!

Dear Dan,

It's a wild autumn day out there today. Autumn was always your favorite season. Maybe because your birthday was in the fall. This day is windy, some sun, some clouds, some rain, some branches -- a little bit of everything.

Plus -- the Leaf Throwdown! Sunday, while it was still sunny, two trees next to the parking lot were dropping leaves. First one tree dropped its leaves; then the other tree dropped its leaves. It looked like they were in competition with each other. All that was needed was a rake and the two of us jumping into the freshly made leaf pile. You and I would do that for hours when we were kids. I think that is one of my favorite childhood memories of us.

You would  loved the weather of these past several days.

I love and miss you, bro.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

This one was upsetting

Dear Dan,

The dream wound around the way dreams do, but the upshot was that you needed $22,000 for a plane ticket to Australia. You were taking a job there. Yes, that's way over the real amount of a plane ticket to Oz, but this was a dream, remember?

So I'm scrambling trying to figure out how to get the money together for you. Suddenly, I stopped, turned and looked at you.  I said, "This means I'm never going to see you again, doesn't it?" You just stood there, but acknowledging what I said. I hugged you and said "But I need you in my life." You hugged me back and said we would think of something.

I woke up crying. It felt like you were saying you wouldn't be allowed to even occasionally visit in my dreams. It felt like I was losing you all over again. I don't want to hold you back, but please don't leave me. Unless you absolutely have to.

Sooo not a good way of starting a day -- sobbing.

I still love and miss you, bro.